December 3rd 2007
Sorry for no posts. Heating is fixed but then I woke up with swollen legs and feet. Have been told to " take it easy " by Doctor. Tried to convey news to 17 month old but he wasn't impressed. Back later.
5th December 2007
I have swollen ankles and feet. I woke up with them and Dan insisted I saw the Doctor. I had to take Rhys with me. I didn't have an appointment and the Receptionist said I might have to wait a while. Then she took a good look at me standing there looking ----well----huge---- and changed her mind. My Doctor looked at me and said I have to take it easy, put my feet up and ----wait for it----go swimming. Evidently total immersion in coolwater is good for swollen legs and feet. He asked me how I felt. Well, I thought--how long have you got to spare. I am fat, tired, I can't see most of my body, and my hair has gone curly again. Benjamin John keeps me awake at night doing the can can or whatever and Harry needs new shoes AGAIN!
I find things are irritating me. Things that wouldn't normally bother me. Dan spent some time explaining this to Harry and Anna-Louise. It obviously had some effect because I heard Anna-Louise saying to one of her friends that I have hormones at the moment. As for Harry --I don't know what he thinks--he isn't very communicative. I think he has hormones too. Anna came over and we spent a happy two hours moaning. It cheered me up enormously.
Had a phone call from Mama and she is coming over on December 20th. She will stay with us for a while and then go to Gisela in Wales. We have to meet her at the airport. Dan says I needn't go but Mama will expect me to be there I'm sure. Gisela is not happy with Mair's new boyfriend. He is Greek. I don't expect it will lead anywhere serious though. Had a call from Georg and guess what? He is engaged to be married!!!! I can hardly believe it. He is just 2 years younger than me. She is evidently German and Mama is delighted. Finally Georg has gotten something right. Gisela marries a Welshman, I marry a Polish-American Jew and Georg is going to marry a Catholic German. Mama is very happy with Georg at the minute and told me all about the wedding. {They haven't arranged a date yet}.
I am quite sure that anyone who reads this will be very happy to know that our own JB [a ginger cat 4 months old now about] has started to bring things into the house. Useful items like mice, stunned birds, and frogs. He doesn't seem to kill these things. He brings them in, finds me, wherever I am and drops them at my feet. Since I can't see my feet when I am upright this doesn't worry me much except yesterday when I actually trod on a frog. I had bare feet too. I won't say any more. I'll just say that please whatever you do NEVER tread on a frog with bare feet. JB was very happy about me treading on the frog and went off with the remains of it gripped firmly in his mouth. He was so pleased with me that when I sat down later he tried to get onto my non existent lap. I spent some time with him draped decorously over my right shoulder. The phone rang and before I could do anything about it Rhys answered it. I was most amused to hear him chatting to the person on the other end of the line. It was gibberish with the occasional word thrown in. He likes to say ja so I heard that a lot. I finally got hold of the phone and discovered it was someone selling something. I couldn't understand most of what she said so in the end I put the receiver down on her.
Dan came home early and said he would make dinner. I keep out of the kitchen when Dan cooks. The food is O.K. but the kitchen usually looks like a war zone after ward. The kids are doing their home work and Rhys is building towers and knocking them down again shouting Schlag and cass {crash I suppose]. Neither of which apply to falling down buildings. So I thought I would quickly do this.
9th December 2007
I AM TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT. I AM SICK OF IT. WENT TO MASS AND COULDN'T KNEEL. IF I DROP THINGS ON THE FLOOR IT IS HELL TO PICK THEM UP AGAIN. BENJAMIN JOHN HAS STARTED DOING THE CAN-CAN OR WHATEVER. WHY CAN'T HE KEEP STILL? JUST NOW AND AGAIN?
December 17th 2007.
Just a quick note. Swelling in legs etc a bit better. Last day of Rhys at nursery so going shortly to pick him up. Yesterday sang Stille Nacht in Church as a solo. It was weird in a way, standing there so huge and obviously pregnant so near Christmas, singing this. I suddenly thought how brave Mary was, a fact not stressed enough in my humble opinion. There she was, a young girl, pregnant, and with no Father in sight. What a wonderful man Joseph must have been to accept this.
Church is lovely this time of year and Father said it was fine if I didn't kneel, but it feels very odd not kneeling when everyone else is. However, if I did manage to kneel it would take considerable effort to get me up again!
Looking forward to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Dan usually goes to this and sits at the back. Of course he doesn't actually do anything but sit there but it's nice for this kids to know he's there. This year I am taking Rhys. Hmmm. Well he has to start sometime! Father always welcomes everyone of any age.
Watched JB with Lesley Garrett. Someone posted a copy on youtube. I liked their duet. I know that Harry and Anna-Louise are planning something for Christmas morning. It is supposed to be a big surprise. Last year they sang We wish you a merry Christmas as they came into our bedroom carrying a tray of coffee and toast. I have a feeling this year instruments are involved which means we will get a violin and guitar duet!
Off now to pick up Rhys. If I don't post again before Christmas Glückliches Weihnachten to all.
18th December 2007
Much as I love JB I have decided I will probably not watch the new season of Torchwood. I have read the outline of Ep 1 and the stuff on the new BBC Torchwood website. I came to hate Gwen on season one and it seems that the BBC have made her even more important in the new season-so that's that for me-no more Gwen so no more Torchwood. I may be able to save the episodes and not watch the bits with her in but if she dominates the new season like she did the first this will be a waste of time. It sounds weird but I have never ever disliked a character in a TV program as much as I came to dislike and loathe Gwen. I will be plenty busy then anyhow with Benjamin John and we are going to see JB in concert twice in April.
Having two kids under 2 is going to take up most of my time anyhow but I shall continue to follow Torchwood events and posts and write fic.
I found the description of Gwen on the BBC site depressing and totally opposite to how I saw her so I thought I'd have a moan. I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT SO I AM ENTITLED TO BE A BIT STRANGE, and I may change my mind later about these things. I am obviously a bit weird right now anyhow because this morning I spent two hours cleaning the stove and yesterday I had an overwhelming urge to clean under the sofa. I managed to move it and found a 2 pound coin there so it was quite rewarding although 10 pounds would have been better or even 5. Dan is home now and not working until after Christmas-this is the good part of working for yourself! He came home yesterday at around 3 and is at home now getting the kids a meal so the kitchen will be covered in dishes and pans quite soon!! Rhys is having a late nap. Couldn't get him off earlier as Dan was playing with him. He took him out this morning and was mad with me about the stove. He thinks it may make Benjamin John arrive too soon!
Thought I wouldn't post any more until after Christmas but had an urge to moan about Gwen.
3rd January 2008
I am sure someone will be upset by my comments on this but this is MY journal and this is a free country. I am really no longer looking forward to Season Two of Torchwood. Evidently the loathsome useless Gwen is now regarded as second in command {see the BBC website-disagree with everything it says about Gwen- if she had worked anywhere I have ever worked she would have been dismissed speedily- that is if she was ever employed in the first place}, but now we have the actor who played the equally useless Rhys boating about having much more air time in the new season and getting to fight aliens as well.
This suggests that we will get more of Gwen's so called home life and more of overweight dim Rhys.
I don't think I can stand it. I only watched the first season because of JB and was disappointed in a lot of it. He was hardly in one episode which was all about Gwen. Now it seems we will get even more of her as well as even more of her uninteresting idiotic unattractive boyfriend. The actor might be able to act, he might even be really nice, but I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM- and certainly not naked as we did in season one.
So that's it for Torchwood. There are lots of other things JB is in I can watch. Torchwood is finished for me. I might just record it and only watch certain bits. As for the stories from season one--well--I have read much better on the amateur sites around here. I liked the fairies one, although Gwen never leaving Jack alone, especially when he was grieving for Estelle made her look very insensitive, and the Captain Jack one. Anyhow, with two kids under two I will be really busy!
5th January 2008
It is my Birthday Tomorrow and I will be 40. This is not exactly a secret since I overheard Anna-Louise saying to one of her friends that I would be 40 on Sunday. Much to my amusement the friend said that her Mother was even older than that {she is too}.
Was depressed the other day but today I feel cheerful. I know, for example, that I am getting a cake with candles, because I overheard Dan ordering it. 40 candles. He seemed to be having a lot of bother getting 40 candles. Also I am sure Dan will cook tomorrow, all day. When we come back from early Mass I am sure to be told to sit down and relax. I am looking forward to it. I just wish I was 39 again.
13th January 2008
Just a short update. Couldn't get anyone to take the Panto ticket for 16th that my cousin is stuck with. She must be one of the unluckiest people in the world. When she was 6 she lost the sight in her left eye and then it got much worse in the right. Last year she had a pioneering operation that restored it so she and her partner were getting out and she was enjoying seeing things.
They booked for the panto and now he is in Hospital and can't go. Since he is improving she suddenly decided she wanted to go so I said I would try and get the ticket sold for her but there wasn't much time and no-one is interested. She is of course 55, and I think that is the problem, but I love her and I wanted to help.
When she was very young she fell madly in love with a most unsuitable man { a prefect bastard actually } and got pregnant. She lost the baby and couldn't have any more. Her Father, who was very strict, threatened to throw her out and --well--I wont go on---but she had a terrible time. Now she says she isn't going because everyone will be younger than her. I said they wouldn't be but I don't really know.
Anyhow, I am so huge I can hardly move and I have had what I believe the British call a false alarm. I awoke in the night and thought Benjamin John was on his way early. He wasn't. He obviously has more sense as the weather was disgusting. There was chaos in our house as everyone woke up and Dan called an Ambulance and we had to get Molly from next door over--all for nothing.
Anna-Louise in particular appears to have thoroughly enjoyed the excitement.
January 14th, 2008
I post a fic where there is a cat in the Hub and since then I have already come across three more fics with cats in the Hub. I guess it is a compliment in a way, but not one of them have admitted that I gave them the idea, which is irritating.
Dan is at work, Harry and Anna-Louise are at school and Rhys is taking a nap. so here I am trying to write fic and not getting anyplace. To be truthful I am mad.
I am mad with my stupid cousin for deciding not to go to the Panto, even though she has two tickets, because she can't find anyone willing to go with her from London or even meet her in Birmingham and get the ticket off her there. I would go on my own if I had to--it's JOHN!
I am mad with Eve Myles for spouting rubbish during interviews about how Gwen is the nucleus of the team and how lovely she is and how much she and Jack love each other.
I am mad with various reviewers for saying that RTD is a great writer when I think he is shit, and shit that has a very occasional flash of something slightly less than shit at that.
I am mad with my hair which has gone curly AGAIN!
I am mad with the weather because it's bloody awful and I had to drive the car in it--in my state.
I am mad with being pregnant with Benjamin John and he isn't born yet because I wish he would get on with it and arrive. He isn't due till the 28th but Rhys was early and I AM LIKE AN ELEPHANT!
I am mad with English spelling because it's illogical. Why is there an H in elephant? How do you spell continyouuslee? My spell checker keeps coming up with nonsense.
I couldn't sleep last night either as I am too LARGE. SO I AM TIRED as well as MAD.
Knowing myself as I do I know I will be cheerful again in a short while--I just wanted to moan and there's only Rhys here and you can't moan with any degree of success to an 18 month old.
17th January 2008
In case anyone reads this and wonders why a hugely pregnant female is awake and typing at midnight I thought I would explain. I don't sleep much. I never have. As a child I was evidently VERY active. My Mother told me only recently {when she was over here for Christmas} that once I had learned to walk she didn't think I sat down again until I was about ten years old! I think she was exaggerating but I remember being constantly told everywhere I went to sit down and sit still. Even now I can't sit still. When I am sitting I constantly wave my arms about etc. I have been told it can be very irritating but I usually don't realize I am doing it.
I have felt tired lately but I still don't sleep much. I have a feeling too that Benjamin John is going to be like me because he is constantly moving. Once or twice I have had weird visions of him tap dancing inside me or doing infant karate like his older brother Harry!!
January 21st, 2008. 12.52 am.
Since Ep 1 of Torchwood was shown everyone has gotten terribly serious and there are all sorts of serious discussions going on about Gwen/Jack and Jack/Ianto. I am still awake as Benjamin John is still awake so I thought I would add a little levity into things.
The Police arrived at our house today. In a car. With sirens going. Rhys rang 999. Evidently they thought something serious must have happened for such a young child to be on the telephone. So they came and I had to explain and they were lovely about it and now Rhys has a real Police Cap. I had no idea he could use the telephone. I didn't teach him but he watches everything we all do. Hmmm.
_Baby- A note from Dan
1/21/08 09:24 am
Benjamin John decided to arrive. Born at 8.20am and looks just like Rhys. Weight 7 pound 5 ounces.
Jen insisted I posted this. Very speedy labor as he almost was born in the Ambulance.
3rd February 2008.
Finally have gotten around to writing this diary again. Read the last posts and realized that I was writing on the PC at 12.52am and BJ was born later at 8.20. He was almost born at home and then I was afraid he would arrive in the Ambulance. I really wanted to have him in Hospital and luckily he was born 10 minutes after I arrived there! Read some of the old entries and realized that originally they told me the date was the 21st January. Then I got it into my head that they had said the 28th, or perhaps someone did. Anyhow. If the 21st was correct he was on time, wasn't he?
Last night he actually slept for four hours without waking up. Oh heaven! {BJ that is}. Anna had Geraldine Ann the week before I had BJ but of course, I didn't mention it in my diary even though she is my best friend. She brought her around here yesterday and we complimented each other's offspring. Anna looks fantastic already. I look as if I have been in a train wreck. My hair is curling frantically all over the place and yesterday I couldn't even comb it it was such a tangle. Rhys hair has become just like mine, poor little soul, although in features he looks like Dan. Much to my immense pleasure I noticed the other day that his eyes are starting to turn green. Dan has lovely green eyes and I think Rhys might have them too.
Georg called and said he is getting married in June. I forget the exact date. My brain is going I think. Realized also that I said nothing about Christmas either. Anyhow, we had a wonderful time. Mama came over and was, to my surprize, great fun. She even taught Harry a rude song which she and Uncle Franz used to sing when they were around his age. She let Rhys climb all over her and she put Anna-Louise's hair up in some stile called a Französischer Zopf. Which is I believe a French pigtail. Anyhow, it looked very nice. Gisela, Tom, Mair and Gareth came for Christmas and Boxer Day and then went back to Wales, taking Mama with them. Mair has already dropped her boyfriend, much to Gisela and Tom's relief. I never met him anyhow.
I feel I need to get back to my fics but at the minute I don't have a lot of time to spare. I hope folk don't mind waiting! Perhaps they haven't even noticed!!! Meant to mention too that in December Anna-Louise took her violin exam and passed. Her teacher is pleased with her progress. Now when she plays it actually sounds quite good! She played at her school Christmas celebration. They had a small instrumental group who accompanied the carols. Dan took some vid of her. She looks very serious. I took some photos of our four kids together. Harry held BJ. They are great photos and I am so proud of all our kids. BJ was born with a fuzz of dark hair on his head!! However, it has almost gone already. He has to be blond because we are all blond. He is gorgeous. I think he was easily the cutest baby in the Hospital. Everyone admired him. I look at him now and I think---how ever did I produce something so wonderful. Short, curly haired dumpy little me. Nature is fantastic. Of course, Dan is wonderfully good looking and his Mother, old though she is {and irritating sometimes}, has great looks. I have seen pictures of her when she was young and she was beautiful.
Dan is going to have the best of the photos of the kids turned into a painting. They process it so that it looks like an oil painting. We are going to hang it in the lounge where everyone can see it. O.K. I am proud of my kids. They are great. I love them madly. Even Harry thought it was a good picture. I remember when Dan and I started dating. I was so nervous. I had never been in love before despite having lots of boyfriends. I was afraid I would do something to ruin everything. One time we just walked about together holding hands. It was a beautiful day and I was so happy to be with him I thought i would burst with joy.
I sat for a while last night and found I was thinking about birth. Dan was born In New York, I was born in Hamburg, Harry was born in Edinburgh, Anna-Louise was born in Paris, Rhys was born in Swansea and BJ was born in London. Yet here we are, a family, in London. What a great City London is. Where else could we be?
Diary. February 13th 2008.
Update. BJ is doing well and putting on weight. He is a long baby so he might end up being tall {hope hope}. As for the rest of us---Dan is not tall although he seems so to me because I am so short. Harry is now taller than I am and is very happy about it but I don't think he's going to be tall. Anna-Louise is average for her age so I hope she doesn't grow taller than Harry. Rhys is very small still although he's bright and lively. He is very interested in everything and can say a large number of words in more than one language!
I am feeling more myself and can look in a mirror without getting a shock! My hair is growing longer too so I am pleased about that although it is still very curly. Rhys has a mass of blond curls all over his head and people seem to like to pat it. He doesn't mind yet. Anna came over with Geraldine and we compared offspring. Anna looks fantastic already. Geraldine looks like a small plump bald version of Will which is a bit alarming. I couldn't help thinking that BJ is much more attractive.
I am sure that Geraldine will improve with age. Will is nice but he isn't as good looking as Dan but of course very few folk are. {To me anyhow}. Dan's Mother is coming over next month to stay. I am not really looking forward to that. She forgave me for being German and a Catholic when the Grandchildren arrived but I still get the feeling she would have preferred Dan to marry someone else. Learning Polish was a help because she insists on speaking it when ever possible. However, I have always been good at languages.
Later.-----
Just watched two new episodes of Torchwood. I wasn't very impressed with Adam. It was written by the same woman who wrote season one's Captain Jack Harkness episode and she wrote last last weeks as well. I am just not interested in seeing Gwen and Rhys. Scenes between them usually slow down the story and Rhys is probably the most boring person in the entire show. This episode was billed as being Jack centered but it really wasn't. As usual we ended up getting as much, if not more, of Gwen, and now we get Rhys all the time too. It wasn't very good at all. The actors seemed to be doing their best with substandard material. I think the author should take a very long vacation before she tries to write anything more for Torchwood.
However, on a brighter note, Reset was much better. Jack was cheeky and smiling again and Martha was very good too. The mayfly was suitably disgusting and frightening and the story was O.K. The usual plot holes surfaced but that is because too many different writers are on the pay roll and they don't actually seem to communicate with each other too well. RTD is theoretically supposed to be supervising the stories but he is useless and totally overrated and doesn't seem to know the meaning of the expressions character development or continuity. I sent his agent en E-mail all in German just to see if I had a reply. I haven't yet! The great man probably only knows English!! I feel like telling him my 19 month old knows three languages already!
Talking about that I once had a problem with one of Anna-Louise's school teachers about language. She said I was teaching her too much too soon and it would make her confused and not speak English well. Oh dear, I actually told my kids bedtimes stories in German. I read "Alice's Abenteuer im Wunderland" to Anna-Louise at one time night after night. It is so strange at times I love it myself. All that business of drinking and eating and getting smaller and bigger and everything else. It has always been a favorite of mine ever since Mama read it to me and Georg.
Anyhow, must go and feed BJ as I can hear him crying. What a pity men can't do it!
Diary. early morning February 15th 2008.
Here is a piece of really useful info for anyone who might read this: Yes, it is possible to type on a PC keyboard {with one hand} while breast feeding a baby