Just a little note to say that I have actually started writing something!!!! It is the sort of weird story you would expect to be written by someone who spends most of her days with two very small people under 2 years of age. It is about a cow--er-- a dead cow---Torchwood go to try to get rid of its ghost--oh--and it's the ghost of an alien cow of course---I did say it was weird--didn't I?
May 3rd 2008
Have a few moments to spare so thought I would update this. Anna and I decided to go into Town last week. Of course we decided to go on the Bus, fools that we are! Anna had Geraldine on her front in one of those carry things {I can't remember what she called it} and I had my Chicco Tandem Geschwisterwagen that Mama brought over from home for me the last time she visited. BJ is a bit young for it as the recommended age is 6 months, but as we wanted to go on the bus and he is a big baby I thought it would be O.K.
We were on the bus and Rhys was happily looking at everyone and smiling when I spotted someone I know from Church. He was sitting next to some woman I didn't recognize, and I was about to say Hi to him when their conversation became louder and I heard what they were saying. They were saying that all foreigners should be sent home and that Boris Johnson would do this. They then went on to say that all foreigners were layabouts and were costing the Country a fortune and they should all be thrown out. I was very shocked because I have seen this man on his knees in Church. Then two very attractive Black Girls got on the Bus and one of them couldn't locate her Pass. She was searching for it when the man from my Church shouted out "why don't you go back to where you come from?" The Girl shouted back that she was born in Clapham and did he want her to go back there and in response both my man from church {I know his name but I wont print it} and the woman swore at the girl. In the end the young women got off the bus and left the man and the woman still complaining and swearing. I was terribly shocked and still haven't really gotten over it.
Anyhow, I haven't noticed any layabouts in all the folk I know who have come to England from other countries. Everyone I know seems to work hard all the time. Dan is working NOW. He is replacing a staircase, a seriously big job. Despite this event we had a good time that day and the kids were great. We went in MacDonald's for lunch and they are equipped for babies, at least in the place we visited. BJ was an angel and didn't cry once all day and Rhys chatted to everyone he met. Some of it was incomprehensible and some of it wasn't in English but no-one seemed to mind. We had an uneventful trip home and BJ was awake nearly all night to make up for being so good all day!!
Harry is at a sleepover tonite and his friends Dad came to pick him up about a half hour ago. Anna-Louise is sitting down to watch JB on TV and I want to see him too, so that is it for now. BJ is asleep and Rhys is running his trucks up and down the Hallway and banging them into the wall so I had better stop him
'
Diary. May 10th 2008
Had to stop and write this because I am so irritated. We watched "I'd do anything" and the absolute shit that ALW talked about Jessie and Nancy has made me fume!!! Jessie CANNOT do a cockney accent and finally ALW has noticed that his favorite is unsuitable in that respect--so what does he do--he claims that Nancy could have been Irish!!!! JB disagreed and he was right--Nancy is a COCKNEY-- Dickens wrote her as a cockney--she's NOT IRISH--and Dickens was VERY GOOD at conveying the accents of his characters to the reader--so if Nancy had been meant to be Irish --we'd know about it. It would be obvious in the book--but to suit himself ALW is now claiming that Nancy could be Irish----.
I don't know why they don't just drop the remaining programs and just say that they have given the part to Jessie--but of course they still need to keep up the usual pretense that it is the Publics choice. We had all this shit before with Lee Mead when it turned out later that Bill Kenright knew him and that he had played Joseph before-none of which we were told during the shows run. Now that he can't engineer an outright cheat, ALW is spewing out this rubbish--which will no doubt be swallowed by the masses of folk who don't seem to have ever read Dickens at all.
I read Dickens at School--true-- it wasn't in English--but still---. Dan told me not to get so excited about it--"So ALW is a lier" he told me" well, Peter knows him and he told us what ALW was like"--that's true--before I watched the shows I knew---but still--it's being so excitable that makes life with me so interesting--if I was calm and orderly---well I am not--I am noisy, disorganized and life with me must be hell sometimes--but I am very lucky because Dan seems to love me this way---and my kids do too--and Anna-Louise is turning into a miniature me---oh dear----she's gone off to bed saying that she's going to cut a picture of ALW out of somewhere and stick pins in it because he argued with JB--which to her is a real bad sin----.
Have to stop raving now because Rhys has gotten up and is screaming for attention by the upper stair gate---Dan is immersed in the Lottery Show, I think he's hoping to win---hmm---
May 21st 2008
Today is the 16th Anniversary of Evie's death. She would have been 17 this November. I still think of that terrible moment in the Hospital when she went. They disconnected all the tubes and machines and everyone thought she would go within minutes, but she breathed on her own and I sat on Dan's lap holding her and she breathed for nearly two hours. She was a fighter was my little Evie.
Can't write more because tears are obscuring my view.
May 24th 2008--JB the cat.
As anyone who has ever read this will know, we have three cats. The youngest is called JB and is very pretty but incredibly stupid. In my life I have known a great many cats and I can honestly say JB is the dimmest I have ever met.
JB likes to get in things--like tubes and cupboards. Then he can't get out and, being stupid, does not meow for help but just sits there, looking dim and waiting for rescue. He also likes to climb--on roofs and up trees--and then he can't get down. He got into the Electricity Sub-Station up the Street and we had to get the Fire Brigade to get him out. He got stuck on top of next doors roof in a high wind and we had to get the Fire Brigade to get him down. Thus, this Morning, when he got stuck up the top of our Plumb tree, I felt rather cross. I didn't want to call out the Fire Brigade yet again.
Anna-Louise was upset and we all, with the exception of BJ who was watching the Washing for me, hovered around the tree trying to get JB to come down. He just ran about meowing loudly. Anna-Louise started to cry. Things looked bleak. I prepared to call the Fire Brigade. Then Harry suggested we get a blanket and get him to jump into it. He'd seen it in Movies. It was usually people, of course, but we could try, couldn't we?
I went indoors. I checked on BJ. He was in his little Rocking seat, well strapped in, in front of the Washer.He was asleep so I went and fetched a blanket. Harry, Dan, Anna-Louise and I each took a corner of the blanket. We spread out under the tree. We all yelled together "jump JB--jump--jump".
To my immense surprise, after a few moments of running back and forth and looking down at the blanket, JB actually did JUMP. He jumped straight out of the tree and flew downwards rapidly and we caught him in the blanket. I thought, no-one will believe this--it's so daft. We all made a great fuss of him and told him how clever he was. He rolled on the grass, purring and looking very pleased with himself. I thought, maybe he isn't quite so dim after all. Then I thought, a more intelligent cat wouldn't have jumped. I don't know. Anyhow, he is safe yet again. I am so glad cats have 9 lives!
May 26th 2008
Just a quick note to say that Anna-Louise took her Grade 3 Violin Exam and passed. She has Grade 1 Piano this week.
Yesterday we had BJ's Baptism. It was lovely and our Priest mentioned the Jewish bond with the Apostles, and the Jewish blood in such saints as St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila. All our friends came and we had a Buffet afterwards. BJ was an angel throughout and looked gorgeous in his new white suit. It had little pants and a miniature tie and everything. He didn't cry once and kept looking around as if he knew what was happening. Anna and Will are his God-Parents, of course, plus Dominic, who came down from Scotland for the occasion. He is having to move here soon because of his work so he will be around quite a bit before long. We haven't seen him for ages and he looked great and has lost weight.
Rhys was great too and he held BJ's candle for a photo and looked so lovely I actually started to cry, idiot that I am. Although it probably sounds weird, we still have Harry, Anna-Louise and Rhys's candles.
Today the weather is bad and Harry is having some sort of session with two friends on their guitars. Anna-Louise is over with Carly and Dan is at this very moment playing a game with Rhys which involves throwing him up in the air and catching him. He loves this. BJ, despite all the noise, is asleep.
Need to go because Ringo has just come running in the room with feathers in his mouth---oh hell--another dead body someplace------
May 27th 2008
I am getting tired and of my Google Alert for JB. Today is the third or fourth time it has directed me to a page filled with folk moaning about John on IDA. I think it all started when he criticized everyone's useless darling Jessie. The fact is, what he has said about her seems to me to be true. He was encouraging to start with and just said she needed to work on her movements. She said she would. She has, in fact, not improved in this respect at all and is actually shown on live TV talking back to the Panel. Naturally, in my opinion, JB has become a bit tired of her lack of progress. However, he has come in for some ridiculous criticism because of this.
What with this and Points of View whining about him being on TV too much he is getting some bad comments which folk will read. I am sick of it, and going back to IDA I hope Jessie doesn't win because she has evidently learned nothing during her time on the show. Maybe she thinks she knows it all already? I don't know, but there must be some reason why 2 or 3 drama schools turned her down one after the other. If she is so fantastic I am amazed they didn't notice and snap her up.
Hardly anyone seems to be complaining about ALW being rude and unhelpful, and some folk are actually now praising BH. He has bothered me from the start. I didn't know who he was at first and I took one look at him ogling the younger girls and wondered if he was a secret pedophile. Anyhow, I don't like the look of him and I certainly wouldn't let him anywhere near my daughter, famous or not. He is creepy.
May 29th 2008
I have managed to start writing the next chapter Of Heimat. For some reason I find it terribly difficult to write when the house is full of kids. At the minute, for example, Harry is thumping out something he calls picks or is it licks, I don't know, on his guitar accompanied by Anna-Louise on the piano. Dan is playing with Rhys, and before I started to type this they were sitting together on the floor of the Living room building towers and knocking them down. I don't know which of them makes the most noise doing this. BJ is in his little seat, I don't know what to call it, we have had it for ages, supervising the wash. He loves to watch it going round and he laughs and laughs at it. I don't know if this is good or not. He is cute but still bald. Have done this very fast and have to go now-----after the usual spell checking-----
June 2nd 2008
Just a quick note. I am so glad Jodie won the role of Nancy. I originally supported Sarah but when she was eliminated I was torn between Jodie and Rachel. Jodie really deserved to win and I think Cameron Mackintosh should stop sulking and accept the Publics choice. Samantha should have been second as she has much more talent than Jessie.
The behavior of Jessie's father towards JB after the Public voted his daughter second was despicable. I am so glad he isn't a relation of mine. As for Jessie, evidently she has been performing since the age of 7. I would have thought she'd have learned at least how to move in 11 years!
The ridiculous carrying on about John and Denise has now gotten out of hand in some places. Supporters of Jessie seem to be saying that they picked on Jessie and were not encouraging or helpful toward her and JB in particular behaved rudely to her. The fact is Jessie had extra coaching, above and beyond what the other contestants received, in both dialog and movement and dance. Despite this she still didn't seem to have developed at all as a performer since we first saw her. This doesn't bode well for her future career unless she intends to play the part of someone who is paralyzed.
I am very upset about the comments about John even though I know he wont read any of them. He is so lovely and so encouraging toward young performers. It is unfair. I think he would have helped Jessie I am sure, as he has helped others, but she wouldn't listen to anything unless it was praise. It was very noticeable when she spoke how self centered she was, unlike everyone else on the show. She came over to me very badly. I didn't like her attitude from the start. She can sing but even in that she needs a lot more training. She is inclined to shout the bits that require emotion and also goes slightly flat. However, to me nearly everyone sounds flat a lot of the time.
When I was 7 I was tested with some machine that determined how much tonal acuity I had. I found out much later that my Parents were told I had the highest degree of pitch acuity they had ever come across. They wrote up my case in a German medical Journal but I wasn't named. This means that everyone sounds off key to me a lot of the time, {me included}, even JB goes off at times, although he's very good. I have learned over the years to live with this and even at times to ignore it. However, now there's my little Rhys. He has started to put his hands over his ears whenever anyone sings. He sometimes cries too. I think he's going to be like me, the poor little man. It really is a curse this. Anyhow, Jessie was off key. Not a lot, but because I didn't like her anyhow, I couldn't ignore it. I am aware that probably hardly anyone else noticed though.
Anyway with a Father like hers I am actually a bit sorry for Jessie, but her family and supporters must accept that she didn't win and the public preferred Jodie. Evidently John told her raging Father that there could only be one winner and it was Jodie. The Father then stamped off in a temper, an event that was witnessed by a studio full of people. I have an awful feeling that Jessie was convinced, despite the fact that Jodie was getting more votes than her for a while anyhow, that she was going to win. BH was no help in this as he never said anything constructive or helpful to her. He just sat there drooling over her. Anyhow, for someone of 18 to say that they have wanted to play Nancy their entire life is ridiculous. What life?
The powers that be made every effort to persuade the public to vote for Jessie in the Final. She sang her first song totally motionless. It was very unfortunate that everyone could see her clinging to the side of the stool as if she was afraid she would fall off. They then paired her with Gwion in the hope, presumably, that they would look cute together. It was quite good, actually, but lacked something---. Her ALAHNM was good but was spoiled by her starting to shout near the end instead of sing. Then three of the celebrities claimed she was Nancy, which was unbelievable. CM has evidently complained that Jodie is too fat to play Nancy. There are in fact a number of female performers who have played successful runs in the West End who are fatter than her and anyhow, Nancy is described as Stout.
Have to go now--- it's good to have a moan now and then--
June 9th 2008
Very busy this week so this is just a quick note. I don't know if anyone reads these but I don't mind if they do, and comment as well----
Saturday is Harry's birthday. He will be 14--HELP!!! The following Saturday Rhys will be 2. How times goes by---BJ will be 5 months old this month---
Big news from Anna and Will--Geraldine is only a week older than BJ, and Anna is pregnant again she thinks---after all that time waiting---
Posted a new Chapter of Heimat and have started a new AU called Life. It is about Jack and the others but in a totally different setting--it starts where Jack becomes an orphan at the age of 10. and goes on from there. No-one has commented on either of these so I suppose they don't like them--still---Life is going to get real dark in the future Chapters---I am enjoying writing everyone as kids--after all I spend most of my time with kids----
Have to go now and get a Meal--it's all feed, clean and drive here-
June 14th, 2008
Harry is 14 today and is going out with his friends plus Dan as a responsible adult {?} for the evening to celebrate. I am at home with Anna-Louise, who is at present sulking, [because she wants to go with Dan and Harry,] and Rhys and BJ. {The place they are going to is a sort of teenage club and you have to be 13 or over---.}
I took Rhys's photo this week to celebrate him becoming large enough to wear pants for a 2 year old. He had his hair properly cut this week too and was an angel. I stuck the front down with some spit for the photo although you can probably see the pants are a bit big for him. The bottoms have a huge fold--
June 19th 2008
Very busy this week. Have moved to a new server and the new site is
That was a big surprise wasn't it? We are all well and my wireless network has a problem---trying to fix it--
July 1st 2008
Finally have gotten time to write this up. Rhys was 2 on the 21st and we had a party. Anna and Will came with Geraldine, the entire Potter clan came {Boris as well--our cats were VERY upset}, Louisa, Jim and their two came, Carly, Anna-Louise's best friend, was there, Molly next door had to come of course, Clive, Andrea, and their 4 came plus 6 toddlers from Rhys's nursery. It was chaos and when everyone went home the entire house and garden looked as if we had been in some kind of swift and viscous war game.
Fantastic news from Julian--he has a boyfriend---he spoke about it for TWO hours on the telephone to Dan--it must have cost him a fortune!
At home Georg got married. We couldn't go but we sent a message on a CD. It seems to have been a lovely day for them and Mama was very happy because Georg is at home and intends to stay.
Have been watching the Canadian Maria programs once they are posted over here. As usual JB looks delicious but there is a thread on Torchwood discussing whether he uses Botox. Well, he said he tried it and didn't like it and that is good enough for me. I think he looks lovely as ever and I wish folk wouldn't go on and on about these things. As usual someone used the post {anonymous of course] to have a whine about him being bitchy. I HATE that expression and I can't help feeling that they wouldn't use it if John were straight.
BJ is still bald but gorgeous with it. He can roll over several times in a row now and he plays with his feet and hands a lot. He knows his name and if we prop him up against a cushion he doesn't fall over. Unfortunately he has started to look upset if I am not in sight----his lip quivers---. We are taking him to have his photo taken professionally soon so I will post it when I get it. We are all being done---very expensive----